Grief By Age Group

Ages 2 to 7

Understanding Through Separation

Children under seven often perceive death as a form of separation. They may not fully grasp its permanence and may feel abandoned or scared.

Common Behaviors:

• Fear of being alone, difficulty sleeping alone, or refusal to go to school.
• Acting out with temper tantrums or disobedience.
• Regression in behaviors, such as bed-wetting, toileting issues, or speech difficulties.
• Creation of imaginary scenarios or role-playing to cope with emotions.

How to Help:

Provide consistent reassurance and a sense of security.

Be patient with regressive behaviors and encourage expression through play or art.

Offer physical comfort, such as hugs, to help them feel safe.

Children under seven often perceive death as a form of separation. They may not fully grasp its permanence and may feel abandoned or scared.

Ages 7 to 12

Understanding Death's Finality

By this age, children begin to understand that death is permanent and may see it as a threat to their safety. They may fear dying themselves or develop behaviors aimed at avoiding or controlling death.

Common Behaviors:

• Social or emotional withdrawal.
• Difficulty concentrating at school or completing tasks.
• Overcompensating by trying to be “brave” or overly obedient.

How to Help:

• Acknowledge their fears and provide factual information about death.
• Encourage them to express emotions through writing, drawing, or talking.
• Maintain routines to provide stability and a sense of normalcy.
  

Teens

Processing Grief Like Adults but Reacting Differently

Teenagers often understand death similarly to adults but may express grief in more dramatic or risky ways. They may struggle with complex emotions and exhibit behaviors meant to challenge or escape their grief.

Common Behaviors:

• Reckless activities like dangerous driving, experimenting with substances, or engaging in unsafe behaviors.
• Social withdrawal or conflict with family members.
• Preoccupation with death or feelings of hopelessness.

How to Help:

• Open the lines of communication by creating a nonjudgmental space for them to share feelings.
• Monitor for warning signs of depression or suicidal thoughts, such as giving away belongings or talking about self-harm.
• Seek professional counseling if concerning behaviors arise or persist.
• Common behaviors and emotions to expect.
• Signs a child may need additional support.